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What do you talk with strangers about? If you’re like many people, your parents instructed you at an early age not to cozy up to people you didn’t know, and I am no exception. My mom was the type who believed a kidnapper hid behind every tree just waiting to spirit me away, and I grew up believing her. As I am naturally introverted, this didn’t serve well in adulthood. In college I came out of my shell a bit, and later on while slinging tax returns as a CPA, I practiced and built upon the few conversational skills I acquired along the road of life. I remembered from year to year the names of clients’ family members, what their hobbies were, where they vacationed, whether they had pets, and of course what they did with their money. It became enjoyable. When it comes to conversational skills, practice really does help.
My real breakthrough came at the age of 34, when my son Leo was born. As many of you know, Leo was born with Down Syndrome and was later diagnosed with pervasive development disorder (a moderate form of autism.) If you know Leo, you also know that he is friendly, uninhibited, and like the rest of his family, knows his own mind. There were therapists and social workers in and out of our house every day of the week for twenty-two years until he graduated from high school. My shyness slowly eroded as I came to realize I would need to hone my communication skills to get him the services he needed.
What did I do for twenty-two years? Let’s just say I didn’t know any of the therapists, social workers, companions, doctors, teachers, or parents of classmates the day he was born. I met them as strangers and came to know them over time. Every week was a constant stream of conversations with strangers, many who became regular acquaintances, and several who became longtime friends. Eventually, talking about Leo became the easiest thing in the world to do. Some days it was the only thing I knew how to do. If I got (or even get) started on a conversation about him, it is tough to shut me up. As time passes, and he and I both age, I’ve settled into a less hyper, less anxious version of mom. Leo even calls me by my first name from time to time. ;-)
Leo now lives in a group home with round-the clock caregivers. As the turnover for caregivers is fairly regular, I still definitely talk with strangers from time to time. One of the first things new caregivers notice is that Leo’s house is filled with paintings of him done by me. Painting and drawing my children gave me great pleasure as they grew. My latest paintings now give me something new to talk about every day. If I think someone is interested, I could talk about them forever! But as I learned years ago when filling out tax forms, it’s just as well if not better to ask questions and discover fun facts about the strangers we meet. And then, happily, they’re usually not strangers for long.
What do you talk with strangers about?
Hi! It's been a while since I last posted my thoughts on art. During this summer of social distance I've painted outdoors with friends, painted Maine alone, and read a lot. My favorite book of the summer is Ninth Street Women, a detailed biography of five female American artists of the twentieth century who participated in the modern art movement that took place in New York City around the time of the second world war. The book is dense, and after three weeks, I am only through Part One. It is also is good enough that I decided to purchase a copy.
It's hard to imagine right now that men of that time were refusing to exhibit with women because the inclusion of female artists was thought to lessen the impact and caliber of a show. Part of what got some of these women, Lee Krazner and Elaine DeKooning, among others, a very little of the recognition they deserved, was their proximity to the men in their lives who believed in their worth. In the cases of Krazner and DeKooning of course, it was their husbands, Jackson Pollock and Willem DeKooning, who unlike their wives have practically become household names. These women worked twice as hard as they might have with barely a fraction of the formal acknowledgement of achievement.
Reading accounts like this makes me glad I live in the time that I do. I can enter a national show if I want under my own name, without having to attribute my work to "Paul" Martino ;-). I chuckle as I type this because it seems absurd. But it creates gratitude within me, and that's an important feeling as we enter another month of mask-wearing. I am grateful for the opportunity to paint what, when, and how I like.
Good news is I am finally entering shows again. Although I was unable to get any work juried into the American Impressionist exhibit, I have entered the Pitt-Greensburg non-juried exhibit for the third year in a row. Although the exhibit has gone virtual this year as so many others have, it is good to feel the normalcy of entering again. I am also participating in the Pittsburgh Society of Artists New Members Exhibition in October. I'll be posting any other upcoming shows I am accepted into on my website's homepage, so stay tuned. Thanks for stopping by.
